Matrescence through the lens
A guest post by Kendra Blake, Occupational Therapist and Matrescence Coach
Matrescence is the term that was coined in 1973 by Dana Raphael PH.D which describes the process of becoming a mother. Through a series of physical, hormonal and identity changes, this period is not unlike adolescence. While we are all pretty well versed in the coming-of-age teenage storyline, many women face into this next big transition phase with extraordinarily little understanding of how huge it’s going to be.
Alexandra Sacks MD, a reproductive psychologist, talks in her NY Times article about the unrealistic examples of the “perfect Mum” that we are constantly shown. How this fantasy can lead to unnecessary pain due to unrealistic expectations.
The subjective experience of becoming a mother is often invisibilised with mother's sharing only the romanticised version of motherhood to the world.
The true, rich and multidimensional image of "mother" is often left behind closed doors with very few (apart from immediate family and a few close friends) seeing the full truth of what it means to be "mum". Becoming a mother is a complex, multi-levelled and a transformational experience. It is the shifting from what was, to what is and can often leave a woman feeling lost and uncertain as she navigates this new terrain of her life.
The ability to slowly start reclaiming parts of oneself as a woman, in motherhood, is best done with support and with a very gentle holding of the full truth of the experience of motherhood. Matrescence coaches provide safe and containing spaces for mothers (regardless of the stage of motherhood a woman is at - early postpartum or a mama of a 25 year old man) to explore the breadth of the experience of motherhood non-judgmentally. When given an opportunity to be "seen" in motherhood, a woman thrives for she is able to embrace the full complexity of her lived experience.
As a matrescence coach, this is something I strongly believe in. As a specialised mental health occupational therapist and matrescence (motherhood coach) with over 8 years working in the field of supporting women, I truly feel that becoming a mother has been the making of me. My personal experience has been joyful, challenging, and disorientating and this, partnered with my reverence for the journey of becoming a mother, led me to the study of matrescence. I have witnessed, through my own experience and that of supporting mother's over the years - how powerful it is to feel seen in your version of motherhood.
Motherhood photography can act as a beautiful, cathartic space for a woman as the uniqueness of her motherhood is captured through the lens of a passionate photographer who sees the nuances of what it is to be "mum". The opportunity to "be seen" in photography can nurture a safe space for a mother to re-imagine her motherhood journey and see it for the beauty of all it is. Furthermore, the relationship a woman can have with her body post birth can be fragile. Having someone capture the awe and wonder of the body, the softness and its strength, can offer a woman an opportunity to reconnect with the parts of herself that she has lost touch with since becoming a mother.
There is often the experience of a never-ending push and pull for things to remain the same, but also change in motherhood. A desire for our children to grow up and be more independent, paired with a deep yearning to have them small and young for years to come. Having a moment in time captured through photography can be a beautiful way to immortalise the ever transient nature of matrescence - and can bring a deep sense of peace for a mama in the years to come, when she looks back on the images of her life as a younger mama.
The process of honouring a woman's matrescence is delicate and important. When done with honour, respect and integrity it can be an empowering and uplifting experience for a mother. A motherhood photoshoot is a beautiful way of holding this rite of passage for a woman and making it sacred.
At Apple Grove Studio, I offer motherhood sessions in your home, in the studio or outdoors. I would be honoured to capture your motherhood journey so get in touch to talk about your session.
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